Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
OK so i talked to Jayne today and she said that she wanted to file by day instead of file by order, i knew the day would come when she was going to change the way things were done at the desk, i sure did when i took over the desk, the real crappy thing about this is she is going to so regret it when she does, that is not the thing she should have changed, not that i had all of the answers but, i do know when she goes to find something she is going to be pissed, i also think that i might have made a bad choice in saying that she was going to do a good job there, that she was my choice. I hate when you think something is going to be great and it sucks. or so be sucking as Carol would say. I think that the lazy way out is never the way. well, not my problem anymore...right SUCKS
Sunday, April 5, 2009
sunshine and faith
Yesterday was a Great Sun Shinny day here, and I SO loved it!
Kate, Mike and Jacob came over, Jacob helped me do yard work, he got to hold his first worm, frog, cricket, lady bug, and snail. He had so much fun playing in the yard with aunt Moe. He helped me weed; well he cut the leaves of many irises, as I weeded. He got muddy, climbed in trees, and then we took a long walk where half way through the walk he looked up at me and said hold you aunt Moe, hold you aunt Moe. I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up, he shook his head and looked up at me with his big brown eyes and I cuddled him up in my arms for the rest of the walk. He is such a joy.
Today was a good day, full of running errands, Matt a hair cut, and laundry. We watched a fun British comedy called spaced.
Faith is a crazy thing.
I have not been to church since my mom got really sick, I was pissed at God at first, and then I think that I just did not want to face the face of Jesus staring back at me. Reminding me of all the things that I wanted in life and never went after, all of the things that I did and was never truly sorry for, all of the things that I wanted more then him. Maybe I am a chicken. I think Faith is more then just going to church. Although writing this reminds me of just how much I miss that part of church as well. I am very thankful for my Catholic upbringing. I may question quite a few of the teachings, but the basics of it all, they are true and pure and they are a guide to help you live your life as a good person. This is the place in mine and Matt’s relationship where we differ, I know that he believes in God, he just doesn’t have the same kind of Faith that I do. I actually never thought that I would marry someone that did not share my Faith, but I do believe that Matt and I did not meet by chance.
I watched a few people that I really loved, die of really shitty diseases, where there lives were just taken to early, that still truly beloved that God loved them, guided them, that in the end they would be safe in his arms. I don't know if you have ever had someone you love go through so much physical and emotional Hell and still have Faith like that, while I felt like I was being crushed by a ton of bricks or one huge elephant. All of the time I am cursing anything to do with God, faith or anything that makes any sense at all. They just pray and sing in their mind and know that when this world ends a better one will begin. I was humbled so many times by the shear Faith of these people. When their suffering was ended, that is where my faith was strengthened. That is when I knew above all things that one day I rejoin the people that I loved. It can't have all been for nothing, the pain, the tears and the sorrow.
I know that everyone thinks about it different ways. There are many ways to think about God. I have decided that everyone probably believes in the same God, just different names, and ways of worship. I guess that I am just a simple girl who has been through to much not to believe that there has to be a plan for us. That in the end there has to be something bigger then me or you.
Kate, Mike and Jacob came over, Jacob helped me do yard work, he got to hold his first worm, frog, cricket, lady bug, and snail. He had so much fun playing in the yard with aunt Moe. He helped me weed; well he cut the leaves of many irises, as I weeded. He got muddy, climbed in trees, and then we took a long walk where half way through the walk he looked up at me and said hold you aunt Moe, hold you aunt Moe. I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up, he shook his head and looked up at me with his big brown eyes and I cuddled him up in my arms for the rest of the walk. He is such a joy.
Today was a good day, full of running errands, Matt a hair cut, and laundry. We watched a fun British comedy called spaced.
Faith is a crazy thing.
I have not been to church since my mom got really sick, I was pissed at God at first, and then I think that I just did not want to face the face of Jesus staring back at me. Reminding me of all the things that I wanted in life and never went after, all of the things that I did and was never truly sorry for, all of the things that I wanted more then him. Maybe I am a chicken. I think Faith is more then just going to church. Although writing this reminds me of just how much I miss that part of church as well. I am very thankful for my Catholic upbringing. I may question quite a few of the teachings, but the basics of it all, they are true and pure and they are a guide to help you live your life as a good person. This is the place in mine and Matt’s relationship where we differ, I know that he believes in God, he just doesn’t have the same kind of Faith that I do. I actually never thought that I would marry someone that did not share my Faith, but I do believe that Matt and I did not meet by chance.
I watched a few people that I really loved, die of really shitty diseases, where there lives were just taken to early, that still truly beloved that God loved them, guided them, that in the end they would be safe in his arms. I don't know if you have ever had someone you love go through so much physical and emotional Hell and still have Faith like that, while I felt like I was being crushed by a ton of bricks or one huge elephant. All of the time I am cursing anything to do with God, faith or anything that makes any sense at all. They just pray and sing in their mind and know that when this world ends a better one will begin. I was humbled so many times by the shear Faith of these people. When their suffering was ended, that is where my faith was strengthened. That is when I knew above all things that one day I rejoin the people that I loved. It can't have all been for nothing, the pain, the tears and the sorrow.
I know that everyone thinks about it different ways. There are many ways to think about God. I have decided that everyone probably believes in the same God, just different names, and ways of worship. I guess that I am just a simple girl who has been through to much not to believe that there has to be a plan for us. That in the end there has to be something bigger then me or you.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Half way through the wrok week...yeah!
I went to Clare and Josh's house tonight after work to see there new Chicks. They got 7 Rhode Island Reds and 7 Americana. They are so cute....Jack kept taking them out to hold them, and for Aunt Moe to hold them. SO I held some chicks several times tonight. He was so excited about his chickens. He stutters a little so it is adorable to hear him talk about things that excite him because the more excited he gets the more he stutters. When I was there I got to see Clare’s cob progress, she is putting the metal roof on now, it is so neat, and I can't wait until it is done. They are such amazing people.
Work has been good for the last few days. I have had a lot of very good talks with Adam my Supervisor. It was funny, the other day I was on my break, sitting on the tail gate of my truck just about to let Matt go on the phone when Adam walked up, I said good bye to Matt and started talking to Adam about Credit Cards. It was a long story 30 minutes long. It was great talking to him.
I have been working on my attic in my spare time, since we just moved here a couple of months ago there are still things in boxes in the attic, most of the stuff that is up there are boxes of our past. So, I am going through the boxes one at a time. Decided if it something that I want to hang onto or something that I am ready to get rid of. It has been a long, good, cleansing, did I say long process, at this rate I will be done by say...June...Who knows, mementoes from the past are funny things, some remind us how far we have come, but others remind us of what we wanted to be and where we went wrong along the line of becoming the person we wanted to be when we grew up.
Don't get me wrong, I love the person that I am, the caring, loving, devoted person. The girl that would give you the clothes off of her back, any food she had, and if she happened to have any cash if you needed that you could have that too. I just did not see myself working at a home depot when I was 31 years old. Not that it is a bad job, because as far as jobs go it is not really a bad one, but I saw myself doing far more then this at this point of my life. When I was younger, I remember thinking that by the time that I was 30 I would have a couple of kids that I would be shuffling back in forth from soccer practice, ballet and anything else they were involved in at the time. I would be baking cupcakes for school parties (using my schooling well:) )I would have some part time job at some sort of social agency doing the best I could to change the world in between dentist appointment and field day. I am not changing the world today (unless you count teaching people about the many green products that home depot carries or can special order for you)...Just working at a job, paying the bills and trying to fit everything I want to do into the little bit of time I do have to do the things that I want to do in.
I don't know if I went wrong somewhere in my life to be so far off the path that I thought that I should be on Or if I just have to have Faith that I am where I am suppose to be, that I did not do anything wrong, that I just had the wrong path in my head to start with...What are your thoughts?
Peace- Mo Fu
Work has been good for the last few days. I have had a lot of very good talks with Adam my Supervisor. It was funny, the other day I was on my break, sitting on the tail gate of my truck just about to let Matt go on the phone when Adam walked up, I said good bye to Matt and started talking to Adam about Credit Cards. It was a long story 30 minutes long. It was great talking to him.
I have been working on my attic in my spare time, since we just moved here a couple of months ago there are still things in boxes in the attic, most of the stuff that is up there are boxes of our past. So, I am going through the boxes one at a time. Decided if it something that I want to hang onto or something that I am ready to get rid of. It has been a long, good, cleansing, did I say long process, at this rate I will be done by say...June...Who knows, mementoes from the past are funny things, some remind us how far we have come, but others remind us of what we wanted to be and where we went wrong along the line of becoming the person we wanted to be when we grew up.
Don't get me wrong, I love the person that I am, the caring, loving, devoted person. The girl that would give you the clothes off of her back, any food she had, and if she happened to have any cash if you needed that you could have that too. I just did not see myself working at a home depot when I was 31 years old. Not that it is a bad job, because as far as jobs go it is not really a bad one, but I saw myself doing far more then this at this point of my life. When I was younger, I remember thinking that by the time that I was 30 I would have a couple of kids that I would be shuffling back in forth from soccer practice, ballet and anything else they were involved in at the time. I would be baking cupcakes for school parties (using my schooling well:) )I would have some part time job at some sort of social agency doing the best I could to change the world in between dentist appointment and field day. I am not changing the world today (unless you count teaching people about the many green products that home depot carries or can special order for you)...Just working at a job, paying the bills and trying to fit everything I want to do into the little bit of time I do have to do the things that I want to do in.
I don't know if I went wrong somewhere in my life to be so far off the path that I thought that I should be on Or if I just have to have Faith that I am where I am suppose to be, that I did not do anything wrong, that I just had the wrong path in my head to start with...What are your thoughts?
Peace- Mo Fu
Friday, March 6, 2009
HOme
I miss Carol, I came to find a lot of comfort in going home to Carol's house all of the time. It was nice to have someone be like a mom to me after loosing mom. I miss talking to her all of the time, talking on the phone is not the same. When she saw me last week she started to cry, me too a little.
Don't get me wrong I love being up here. Just miss the mom-ish time.
I am enjoying the Matt time.
I am so stoked about doing HEART this summer, and in Rhode Island, how cool.
Work is ok, I worked 12.5 hrs today, it was kinda fun, maybe I will like it here after all.
Well sweet dreams and God Bless.
Don't get me wrong I love being up here. Just miss the mom-ish time.
I am enjoying the Matt time.
I am so stoked about doing HEART this summer, and in Rhode Island, how cool.
Work is ok, I worked 12.5 hrs today, it was kinda fun, maybe I will like it here after all.
Well sweet dreams and God Bless.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Home Depot Monica
SO tomorow I go back to being the Home Depot Monica. I am leaving here around 8:30- 9:ish to head back to old Woodstock to start my next week of work. I think that I have Thursday and Friday off next week, but to be honest I don't remember. So, in about 5 days I will be on my way back up here again. I am hoping that it is a good week of work, that I get a lot acomplished and that no one gives me any greif, and that there is some mention of my transfer. Here is for hoping. God speed to me. Love you guys. Monica
sleeping Matt
i am so happy to be spending the first of the year with my husband. right now we are all snug in bed and he is sleeping. i have been up for a few hours but just could not resist getting to lay here and just watch him sleep. i miss him a lot. things are not how i thought that they would be. I thought that i would be up here all the time and doing Monica and Matt things. I am still working in Woodstock and living my half life here, I can't complain, i have a good job, just wish it was here. well, just wanted to tell everyone how wonderful and amazing it it just to be here in the still watching Matt sleep. I adore him.
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